So
the daff’s are starting to raise their heads in anticipation of sunnier,
longer, warmer days. Crocuses are out, peppering our parks and gardens with
flashes of purples, whites and oranges under the brewing grey skies. The
promise of spring is starting to show its colour across the city not only in
the breaking bulbs and buds of branches but by the hundreds, if not thousands,
of newly bought fluorescent yellow running tops going up and down our streets.
The
paths are officially rammed! New t-shirts, flashing gloves, charity vests and
spanking white daps are treading tarmac, cobbles, bridleways and canal
footpaths. Expectation of the oncoming 26.2 miles and the community of those
involved grow with the season. From the dark winter months into spring the
reality of the race becomes more and more present. In the tightly packed
streets around the city, runners are passing left right and centre,
crisscrossing, sidestepping, hopping and lunging. There are some valuable
lessons to be learnt on these training runs, adding to a set of rules that will
be invaluable on race day. They are, of course, ‘Rules of the Road’.
Whether
a first time marathoner or age old veteran, the rules are the same. The rules
should be learnt and learnt well before the big day, because if broken, could
cause havoc amongst the ranks! For example, taking into consideration wind flow
when spitting, looking over your shoulder when passing, blocking a fellow
runner, farting, aid station bottle throwing and urination tactics (see Nov
post '26th Marathon Eryri' on how not to do it!).
All
of these rules will help in the smooth flow through the pack. Many others
around you wont have been as savvy and gained this valuable knowledge before
race day. This can result in confusion, a sort of mild panic as heels are
clipped and runners around you start to fumble. Over active elbows give your
ribs a good dig, water bottles clip your nose, hacked up lung juice lands on
your right inner thigh. There can be moments of fluoro-dazzle, yellows, pinks,
oranges and greens merging to burn sun dots directly into your retina. But with
the rules already learnt you’re able to sidestep the puker, drink from your
bottle without drowning, and skip elegantly over the spilled pack of jelly
beans.
You’ll
be able to run instinctively and with pride, dodging the rule breakers with
ease of stride, especially because you know that you have learnt the most
important lesson, that is, Golden Rule Number One. The GRNO is a rule that the
wisest have prepared for, tried and tested. Out on long runs every type of
combination of liquid, food and gel supplement expected to be used during the
race has been tested in varying combinations and quantities amongst wind, rain,
sun and hail. This is because you know (often through experience), that
entering a marathon not having tested all variables of nutrition, there is the
possibility of something that hits you with no warning. No hint, not even a
rumble. This thing will slap you right in the face and rip your belly apart in
one sweeping action. Pain ripples through your stomach and nothing will get in
its way. This isn't The Wall I'm talking about here, relatively mild in
comparison to this intestine tickler. No, this is, more commonly known between
the running community as: The Runners Squits. The consequences of which are
beyond any type of muscular control you think you may have. The race shorts
with 4 inch thigh cover you bought for the big day wont be any help either in
hiding this rule dodger. And if you haven't taken Golden Rule Number One into
consideration before setting off around the course, pray that when it happens,
you have a porta-loo and an industrial amount of paper roll to help you through
the 3 minutes that are about to follow.
It
will get messy and you will not get your PB.
